Up And Running

It has been a while since my last confession.  I didn't want to blog on my running if I didn't have anything else to say apart from "my knee is still stiff when I try to run" or "I'm trying this and will see if it works".  Results people, I wanted to talk about results.  I also didn't blog about anything else, because nothing else came to mind to blog about.

Anyway, running and my knee and stuff.  My handy live-in physio gave me some exercises to strengthen the muscles around my knee and  I have been doing them (almost) diligently, (almost) every day for a couple of weeks or more.  I also went to Up & Running in Manchester and got myself gait tested.  You basicaly run on a tred mill and they film you with a high speed camera and analyse you foot falls on a laptop.  It would appear I am flat-footed and so that is a major part of the reason my knees are feeling it when I run.  My legs don't line up properly.  My feet angle one way, so my ankles angle the other to compensate, then my knees angle the other way to compensate for my ankles.  A pretty penny for some new shoes with more support on the inside of my feet that straightens the whole thing up was called for.  I spent the said money and took off for a run.  No change.  1.8 miles and I stopped.  But it was my first attempt and I had only being doing my physio for one day.  A few days later (physio every day) and I tried again.  I also decided to run l mile laps around the block.  That way if my knee gave up I wouldn't have to turn round and walk the 1 - 2 miles back home.  Lap 1, felt ok.  So I continued.  Lap 2, still fine.  Lap 3, a little stiff but ok.  I decided to call it a day here and not push myself too hard.  3 miles was a good start.  A couple of days later I ran 4 miles.  Then 4 miles again.  Then went for a run with Rick and did 4.7 miles.  Things were looking up.  Sharon was stretching my legs out properly on my return from a run.  We're talking full on tortue, I'll tell you anything, just make it stop, type stretching here.  Really did the trick each time though.  My knee was feeling a little stiff, but the stretching would cure it.  This has lead Sharon to believe it is muscular and not joint related.  This is good.  It just means stretching whilst running if I stiffen up.  A bit of heels-to-bum running on the onset of a little knee-stiffness and I feel good again.

Last night I set off running with the intention of covering 5 miles plus.  I took it very easy.  Slower than my normal pace, but the goal was not speed it was distance.  After 3 miles I felt that good that I decided not to make the turn towards home and a 5.1 mile finish.  I felt too good.  So I continued along the 10Kish route I had devised a few weeks (but what feels like a running life time) ago.  I still felt good.  So I did the detour I like through the estate at the end to add on a little extra.  All in all I clocked up 6.7 miles.  This is close to my furthest ever (that being 7.25 miles).  Ok, the time was R-U-B-B-I-S-H (1hr 3mins 3secs), but that's not the point.  The point is I covered a distance like I was able to before without my knee giving up.  I'd say we're back on track here.

Success and hapiness to be back out there again

Keep On Running... Again

So, I trained for and ran 10K.  It was a resounding success.  But, where to go from here?  Onwards and upwards of course.  I have signed up for a half marathon in Liverpool on March 28th 2010.  That gives me about six months to get my distance up from 6.2 miles to 13.1 miles.  No mean feet!  I decided that if I dropped my running down from three times a week, to twice a week and aimed to increase my distance by a mile a month, I would be up to the distance at about the right time.  The gradual increase in distance would mean I would be better able to cope with it.  So I set out with a new plan and within a few days had pushed a bit beyond it and got up to 7 miles.  I ran this a few more times and even managed 7.25 miles.

Then disaster!  I set off with the aim of maybe doing 7.75 miles (I took my 7.25 mile route and just added a bit extra on to it).  I set off and I don't know whether I went too fast, or if the weeks of running had taken it's toll, but something wasn't right.  My legs felt heavier and after a couple of miles it was becoming a pain to run.  Nothing was agony, but my legs felt very stiff and every step was an effort.  After 3 miles I had abandoned all hope of 7.75 miles and was thinking more of 7 miles.  Then I decided to drop it down to my 6.7 mile route.  In the end I did my 6.2 mile route.  And it HURT.  It hurt a lot.  The last 3 miles were trudging pain.  And it was bad pain.  Not the pain of the wall, but the pain of something being wrong.  I STUPIDLY ignored it and pushed on hoping all would be well.  It wasn't.  My legs were stiff and the next day my right knee was still stiff.  This is the first time my right knee had had anything wrong with it when running.  My left knee had been a little clicky, but my right knee had been silent up until now.  It's worth mentioning that my right knee had been an issue a few years ago and had been the driving force in my stopping doing TaeKwonDo, but I had had no issues in ages.  Besides, this felt different.  I decided to rest it for a few days and see what happened.

9 days later my knee had started to feel ok.  Sharon had done some physioing and had said that there was nothing obviously wrong and, if I felt up to it, to try running, but to stop at the first sign of problems.  Also, to stretch better before and after my run.  I put on my running shoes and off I went.  It was glorious.  Out running again after 9 days of missing it.  The first mile was great.  I say the first mile, that should be the only mile, because out of nowhere it stiffened up again.  I ran on for a few hundred yards, but decided not to make matters worse.  I stopped and looked down at my watch.  I had been running just shy of 11 minutes.  RUBBISH!!!  I turned round and began the trudge home.  It was H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E-! I felt so defeated.  This was the first run that had actually beat me.  I'd felt pain and like I couldn't (shouldn't, on one occasion) go on.  But I had never stopped before.  I cut a tragic figure walking along Brangy Road.  Being taunted (in my mind) by the runners gliding past.  I had a bright windproof jacket and shorts on.  I was obviously a runner.  But I wasn't running.  I was walking.  There is a no more pathetic figure in the running community.  I was almost hoping for a limp to manifest itself.  At least that would show why I wasn't running.

Beaten.

That was yesterday.  Today is a new day.  Unfortunately, my knee is not a new knee.  It's stiff.  Once again I am asking myself that question.  Where to go from here?  I have loved these past few months.  The feeling of really acheiving something.  Covering the sort of distance that cause people to spit their drink out when they ask how far you ran is great.  Feeling like I'm getting properly fit.  Also, vainly, seeing the scales drop by half a stone in a few weeks and then level off there because you are building muscle.  Which you can see is making a difference to your overall build when you look in the mirror is a very nice byproduct, I can't deny. To see it possibly all be for nothing sucks.  I don't want to let that go, so I did some surfing (of the web variety.  My knee certainly isn't up to standing on a plank of wood, in the ocean, at the mercy of Mother Nature).  I have found this.  It seems to make sense and is worth a try.  It means a trip to Up And Running for some gait testing and probably the purchase of new running shoes, maybe with insoles (a costly exercise).  It also means some hard work with Sharon on the exercise/physio side of things (handy having your own personal physio).  If it means I can get back to something that has given me such pleasure over the past few weeks it will be worth it.  If not, then I tried.  And the fat bastard sat on couch can look back and remember his 8 weeks of glory.

The Beatles Remastered

The Beatles remastered albums have been with us for a few weeks now. I have listened to them a couple of times and am ready to make my decision on whether they were worth the money. It is an easy answer and one I could have given almost as soon as McCartney finished shouting "1, 2, 3, 4" on I Saw Her Standing There. The answer is they are worth every penny and more. To think I have been a fan all this time and have never truly heard their music as it was meant to be. Every nuance. Every drum beat, strum, chord, harmony and mistake. Yes, mistakes. It adds character to hear Lennon start to wander on the lyrics and then be reeled in by McCartney singing the line stronger to keep him in place. You can almost hear Lennon saying, "Oh yeah, I was thinking of the last verse." Such was the speed in which the early albums were recorded, these were seen as "close enough". Now, and indeed later with The Beatles, time is taken to listen to every note in minute detail to iron out these "mistakes". I think they have a place on the early recordings and am happy to hear them.

The biggest change with the remasters over the CD version released in 1987 is the bass. McCartney was (is) a very talented bassist and now I can hear that in all it's glory. I never realised quite how much the bass drove some songs. A song like Hello Goodbye which I thought to be an average Beatles track is now a joy with it's progressive bass rhythm. The drum beats are also crisper and clearer. Giving me a new found respect for Ringo. He really did some excellent drumming and the songs are all the better for his contribution. This can now be heard.

The harmonies and double tracking of voices is now clearer. You can still hear the voices perfect blending, but tilt your head and listen and you can pick out the individual voices. That high note is McCartney. Harrison is providing the the "Ooooooooo"s. Lennon the "Ahhhhhhh"s. On a double tracked voice you hear the two voices combining in perfection. Rather than almost hearing one voice with what could be echo, or double tracking, or ?

The timbre on the orchestral arrangements is amazing. You can almost feel the bow against the cello or violin on Yesterday and Eleanor Rigby. The brass on Penny Lane feels as if the band are in the room with you, such are the quality and depth of these new remasters.

I could go on to analyse every instrument and what it's remastering has improved. To cut a long story short. If there is an instrument being played, it just sounds better. That is also true of a certain blackbird.

As a whole the entire project has been a resounding success. The music is crisper and clearer. The drums and bass are at a level where they support and drive the melody as they should. And the melody is like being in the recording studio with the band in it's quality.

So, which is my favourite album? Difficult to say. It depends what the criteria are. I would have to choose 4, each for differing reasons. I'll do them in chronological order.

1. Help!
This is the album of a pop group at the top of their game. They had conquered the world and they could do no wrong. Every song is a winner. From Help! to Yesterday. From You've Got To Hide Your Love Away to I've Just Seen A Face. There is no filler on this album (not that there is on any really). Even Act Naturally suits Ringo's voice. This is the early Beatles at their best.

2. Revolver
Everyone says that Sgt Pepper's was the album that changed the world, that it was innovative and original. Where this may be not entirely untrue, Sgt Pepper's owes it's "uniqueness" and overdubbed near perfection to a change that was conceived on Rubber Soul in part (Norwegian Wood in particular), but leapt upon with Revolver. Tracks like Taxman, Eleanor Rigby, Love You To (sitar and tabla), I'm Only Sleeping (backwards guitar) and Tomorrow Never Knows (tape loops and entire song in one chord) were the real innovative and world changing beginnings of the revolution. Sgt Pepper's was the more polished "we know what we're doing now" offering. Revolver (as the name almost indicates, but McCartney said they just thought was funny because it's what a record does) was the real change.

3. The Beatles (White Album)
After "finding themselves" in India and writing many, many songs. This album is almost a collection of solo songs. Almost but not quite. It is still The Beatles working (mostly) in harmony. Ringo walking out and McCartney drumming on Back In The USSR springs to mind. It does signal the start of The Beatles finding their own way as individual artists as they would soon become. I think this is a great thing. On no other album ever will you find so much variety and differing in styles. No song sounds like any other. This is greatly demonstrated after McCartney finishes screaming Why Don't We Do It In The Road, to then gently sing I Will. How many albums could offer the beauty of Julia, the noise of Helter Skelter, the weirdness of Revolution #9 and the poppiness of Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da. I haven't even listed all the different styles there either. I would have to do a complete track listing.

4. Abbey Road
This album has some stand alone greats like Something, Oh Darling!, Come Together and Here Comes The Sun. But it is as a collection that this album delivers. The medley on the second half of the album in particular. McCartney said they were simply using bits of songs that they had in a useful way. But the whole becomes so much more than the sum of it's parts. The album, quite simply, is a swan song by a band who had learned how to get it right. It says, "This is how you do an album". It is a masterpiece and about as close to perfect as one album can ever be. Any more analysis would only diminish how much it works. The first half gets you in the mood with great tracks and the second half carries you (literally) to The End.

The Big Race - City Of Salford 10K

So, the big day. Early start, had to be at the Lowry between 8 - 8:30, to start the race at 9:30. They close the roads off, so you need to get there before to ensure you get in. I was up at a similar time as on a work day (6:45am!) and had a quick breakfast of museli and a cup of coffee. I then decided this wasn't calorific enough and had some chocolate pop tarts for good measure.

We arrived easily enough and milled around watching all the much obviously fitter and more commited runners than us warm up. We pretended to do some daft stretches and then figured that actual stretching was in fact a good idea and limbered up. That hour of waiting was worse than the actual race, we were keen to get going. The start time came and we were off. Rick said to not try and keep up with everyone and just run at our own pace and let people pass us. Then when the siren went he was off out of the blocks and sprinting across the bridge with me shouting for him to slow down. I was aiming for a time of around 55 mins, that's (easy maths) 5.5 mins per km. After 1k we had been running for 4.5 mins. I continued telling Rick to ease off. After 2k and a time of 9 mins I decided I couldn't keep this pace up for the whole 10k and eased off a little myself. Rick got the message and dropped back. It was a fairly quiet affair for the first few K. It was just the sound of a peaceful Sunday morning and the footfalls of a few hundred people, indespered with the odd bit of panting. By 4km me and Rick were waffling as normal, it helps us run. We eat up the miles that way. The 5km point was marked by a water station. We wondered whether to do the classic swig of water, rest over your head, drop the cup. I managed to get a face full of water just trying to drink whilst running (it's an aquired skill I think). It was some sort of energy drink and I was rather sticky. I decided against pouring it over my head and finished it. We then had a few K of running down a straight road. This was the most gruelling bit. Just wathcing the runners and road disappearing into the distance and then seeing the leaders coming the other way on the other side of the road. You ran round a roundabout and ran back down. I particularly flagged on this bit. It was boring more than anything. We entertained ourselves by chatting to a bloke who was running a similar pace and coming up with comedy slogans about winning and losing. Some favourites were, "Winning is everything, taking part is nowhere."... "It's not whether I win or lose, it's whether I beat YOU!" and, "It's not the winning or losing that counts, it's whether you beat those girls running in tutus!" We eventually got over the long stretch and hit the 8km mark. We approached the island with The Lowry on again. Rick was keeping pace with me and it was agreed I could happily maintain my pace on my own if he felt he wanted to motor on from the 9km point. Around the 9km mark you run past the finish line. A little demorilaising to be so near but so far. Fortunately our girls were there cheering us on and that gave me the spur I needed. We even managed to pose for a photo mid run. Rick motored off and I attempted to keep up for about 2 strides then decided I couldn't do it. I upped my pace from my original pace but let Rick go. He afterwards felt guilty for this, but I was cool with it. Especially as I picked out a bloke ahead in a white T-shirt and thought, "I'm going to try and beat him." He was going a similar pace and was far enough ahead that I would have to open up a little and drive on. I caught him just before the final bend and by this point I was really running. As I rounded the last bend it became apparent that he had started sprinting too. We bizarrely ended up in a sprint finish with loads of people cheering us on. I'm happy to say I didn't look back and just kept running and came in ahead of him. The point was, of course, to finish in a time I was happy with, but that competitive streak in me got a little buzz out of it. I remembered to hit stop on my watch just after I passed the line and had finished in an unofficial time of 52 mins and 48 secs. As I was aiming for 55 mins I was VERY happy with this. Unfortunately the official time has not yet been posted yet and I can't remember the route to post that either.
Rubbish!

Afterwards I felt fine very quickly. My calves stiffened up from sittiing in the car and my knee was a little stiff later on. Although I felt nothing in my knee at all whilst running.

I managed to get £212.01 sponsorship for my efforts and would like to thank everyone for that. Good stuff people. We did well. I'm sure the kids supported by the NSPCC are grateful too.

Half marathon in March...........

Lucky Number 7

This is it. The final week (as far as the 10K goes anyway, not for my running). The schedule is as follows.

Monday: run for 40 mins
Tuesday: rest
Wednesday: run for 30 mins
Thursday: rest
Friday: rest
Saturday: rest
Sunday: run 10k race

A fairly easy going week by previous standards. Really just keeping my body used to running. No pushing it or anything. That is when most injuries happen. When you push yourself at the end of training just before whatever it is you're training for. I chose to avoid that mistake and took it easy. Not much to say on either Monday or Wednesday's run. I ran 4.88 miles on Monday and 3.4 miles on Wednesday. Pretty much stuck to the 40 and 30 mins. Both runs were fine. The training is done. I am ready!

Rick did a run on Monday where he did 5.2 miles in 40 mins. That is monsterously quick! We have agreed to run the big 10K together at whatever pace we can both manage. From Rick's much faster time that means we run as fast as I can manage. I am aiming for 55 minutes.

You may have noticed that I am writing this before the end of the week. It is now Thursday. I will write another blog after the big race. I just wanted to get down my thoughts before hand.

So far my sponsorship is going great. I am up to £192.01. I really want that £8 to push me into the two hundreds. Come on people, get me past that mark http://www.justgiving.com/craigwtonks

Sixth (No ) Sense

Week 6 Schedule

Monday: run for 45 mins
Tuesday: rest
Wednesday: run for 45 mins
Thursday: rest
Friday: run for 10km
Saturday: rest
Sunday: rest

Monday's run was mostly great. I planned a 5ish mile route. Part way round Rick suggested "turning right" onto a run he had done recently. We motored on round and it was a good run. We chatted and I felt like I could run all day. There was a bit of hillage in the middle, but my calves didn't hurt too much. My left knee twinged occasionally, but was fine. Then I got to the home straight (after Rick had gone home. He runs a bit at the beginning without me and I run a bit at the end without him). I decided to go on my detour round the estate near home to extend the run by a few minutes. I hit what can only be described as "The Wall". My breathing and general fitness felt fine. My legs did not. My left knee joint felt like concrete. My right calf was very tight. Each left step was more a stamp. Not helping my knee at all. Each right step was more of a shuffle. The noise I was making whilst running went SMACK, scuff, SMACK, scuff, SMACK, scuff. The tightness in my right calf meant I started to get pins and needles in my right foot. I tried to stride through it as, when I have been striding the end of a run in previous runs, it tends to eliminate any twinges or pins and needles. I managed about 4 strides before my legs automatically went back into SMACK, scuff mode. I tried again. Same thing. I kept up the trudge for the rest of the half mile home and made it in 49 mins and 59 secs. Turns out I had run 5.61 miles. Pretty much equalling my furthest ever. Only a full minute faster. And that's with the trudge for over half a mile. No wonder my legs gave up, I was at quite a fast pace for quite a long distance. Ultimately I can't complain about running as far as I have ever run and faster, but it was not the most pleasant finish to a run I've ever had. Of course, as I've said before, these runs where you have to force yourself home make you a better runner. My legs recovered fairly quickly (shower scrub was a big help), although my knee was a bit clicky the next day.

Wednesday, I had a "quarterly meeting" at work. Similar to the meeting we have every Friday, but out of office hours... and much longer. It starts around 6pm and finishes around 8:30pm. Means I have to do over an hour and a half overtime just to get to the start of the meeting. Then a few hours of listening to waffle. At least they feed us though. The upshot of this 12/13 hour long day is I didn't have time to run after work. My solution? Go into work an hour late (who can complain when you're doing 12 hours?) and run 5 miles before work. I planned a route which was 5.12 miles and set off at about 6.30am. It's nice running at that time once you get going. There's very few people around or cars on the road and the air is crisp and clear. Just as I got to the point where I can go one way or the other I decided to go the other way around. Big mistake. It meant the first 3 miles of my 5 mile run was solid uphill running. By the end of the third mile I didn't know if I could go on. Just as I was slowing down and only yards from the crest of the final hill my iPod on random decided to play One Day Like This by Elbow. Can their be a more hopeful and uplifting song? It helped give me that extra impetus to run on. Then, cliched as fuck as it might be, as I was running down the other side of the hill on a quiet morning under a blue sky I really did beleive it was it was looking like a beautiful day. If I'd had curtains with me I may very well have thrown them wide!

I noticed on this run that when I get tired and my head starts to hang down, rather than just putting my head down, I also lean a little to the left. Could this explain my left knee and right calf hurting when I'm getting tired? I think it could. I will endeavour to keep more upright, or at least slump more centrally at any rate. Hopefully this will prevent Monday's nightmare finish from happening again.

By Friday I was full of a cold. Perfect. Nothing like more hardship when you're facing a challenge. This was the big one. The practice 10K (6.2 miles). I got home from work and felt strangely better and was really looking forward to it. Ive found myself missing running on my rest days now. Rick ran the first bit alone and I picked up with him after about a mile (I would run this same mile on my own at the end. Saves us having to travel to run. We just map a route that goes past both our houses and meet up along the way). What can I say, the training must be paying off, becasue we chatted and just did it. No real tweaks, pains or struggles. It was almost too easy. So much so I double checked the distance. I started to feel it on the last mile alone, but I've felt much worse at the end recently. Rick said he did it in about 55 mins as we went past his house. Mine was closer to 56 mins (can't say exactly as I forgot to press stop on my watch in my elation). Here is the route.



Big race is next Sunday. Bit of an easy week next week. This week was much more work, this is the hardest week I will do in any of the 10k training. I clocked up 17 miles on 3 runs. It's more a case of keeping my hand (Feet?) in and resting for the big day next week. I feel ready.

Don't forget to sponsor me at http://www.justgiving.com/craigwtonks and Rick at http://www.justgiving.com/rick-gilpin

Hit The Hut (Oh, how I would have loved to!)

Went to grab some food at Pizza Hut with my lovely lady yesterday. I always seem to somehow convince myself that the service in Pizza Hut in Bury will be ok this time. And every time I am proved unequivocally wrong in my optimism. This time was no exception.

We had a voucher for 50% off the food. This was reason enough to try it again. Besides, Pizza Hut pizza is the best pizza there is. No arguing, it just is! I will hear no more on the subject. This being the case we have visited numerous Pizza Huts in our time and have usually found the service to be acceptable and usually good. Although I do wish they would adopt the policy that seems to be standard in every other restaurant in the world and seat you at your table, hand you your menus and utter those immortal words, "Can I get you any drinks?" I really don't mind waiting 10 minutes for service if you've brought me a beer. But waiting 10 minutes to then take all the order together, then waiting for your drink is unacceptable. In Pizza Hut in Bury this is only amplified by the fact it can be longer than even 10 minutes before they take your order, despite asking staff repeatedly for service. That's if you actually see them on the floor of the restaurant. And If I see one more member of staff cleaning a table when I'm sat trying to place an order I really won't be held responsible for my actions.

Anyway, last night's meal (if you can call it that... maybe food fiasco is a more appropriate phrase). We walked in the door and a waitress walked past us. Not uncommon for this Pizza Hut. What was uncommon was she acknowledged us, "I'll be with you in just a second", she said. Things were off to a good start. Almost immediately a second member of staff came over and showed us to a table. Maybe this was going to be our night. He handed us our menus and muttered something incomprehensible and walked off. Maybe not. After about 15 minutes of trying to attract the attention of anyone in black we finally were able to place our order. Now, why is it they don't work like other restaurants and have waiters/waitresses with there own area? The waitress serving the tables around us seemed very efficient (I think she had wandered into the wrong Pizza Hut). But no, this Pizza Hut has a policy of the person who seats you is the person who serves you. Not efficient at all. Eventually Numpty (this is the name I have allocated to our mumbling waiter) took our order (just as I said I was about to go to Frankie And Benny's next door instead) of a garlic bread with cheese to start, a carbonara pasta and a tango for Sharon, a medium Italian supreme with no mushrooms and a Bud for me. EVENTUALLY he brought us the drinks. We had now been seated about 20 minutes and just got our drinks. Our garlic bread with cheese followed soon after and was fine. It usually is to be honest.

Main course time came. After another 20 minutes and a second drink order that is. The second drink order didn't come, but the food did. We complained about the drinks and started to eat. At least we would have done if the food hadn't obviously been ready for that entire 20 minutes we were waiting and was now cold. My pizza was passably warm and I was hungry so I started. Sharon's, however, was as cold as it would have been if it had been in the fridge for an hour rather than the oven. This is not exaggeration. If you put your finger in it, which I did, it was well below room temperature. We called over a waitress (Numpty was nowhere to be seen) and after convincing her that it was cold (she seemed unwilling to believe us initially!!!) she took it away and said a new hotter one would be brought. We collared the manageress and told her of the problem and that we STILL hadn't had the second drinks. She promised to provide us with free desserts and to get on the drinks immediately. I said I wasn't interested in free desserts, I wanted the meal I had ordered and something doing in that respect. She offered us Sharon's course for free. Acceptable. She went to "immediately" sort the drinks and was then visible for the next 5 minutes doing anything but bringing our drinks. Eventually she spoke to Numpty who brought us drinks with an apology. I think it was an apology anyway, he was in full mutter mode. I heard the bit where he said the drinks were on the house. My hearing is good like that. Sharon's main course arrived as I was finishing mine (hardly ideal) and was obviously the same meal she sent back, but put back in the oven due to the burnt sauce around the edge. She was too hungry to argue and got stuck in. I must add I got a perverse pleasure out of watching the manageress burn her hand on the now scalding dish whilst trying to hold onto it and deliver some waffling excuse.

Food finished (although drinks not, due to having to wait so long for them) we asked for the bill. Numpty now seemed to be making an effort, not to get a tip as that was a laughable notion at this point, but in damage control. He brought it and noticed the 50% off voucher and whisked it away to recalculate the bill. Unfortunately he chose this moment to be fast and not give me chance to see the bill first to check for the appropriate discounts. He brought the recalculated bill back and I checked over it. He had taken the drinks off, but had not taken the pasta off. So I had to call him back over and explain the situation. He took the bill and went hunting for the manageress. She must have confirmed this as he brought yet another revised bill. Now, basic maths would say that if you've calculated 50% off something, and you then need to discount the entire item, you just take a further 50% off. Nope, Numpty took the full 100% off the already 50% discounted bill. HORRAYYYY, his ineptitude actually worked in our favour for once! This heavily amended bill now came to a whopping £8.12. Not so much a bargain, more compensation for an endurance in restaurant torture.

Unfortunately the next time I want a pizza I will almost certainly have forgotten all this and proceed to put myself through something similar again. A shame since the Pizza Huts in Manchester, The Trafford Centre, Bolton and Liverpool are all really quite good. Just a little too far to drive. Well, the Bolton one isn't too bad, but is slightly further away than Pilsworth and always seems a bad idea until we're seated in the one in Bury wondering why our drinks STILL haven't come. The best Pizza Hut I've ever visited is unfortunately in Orlando, Florida and is definitely too far to travel. They even had Superman The Movie on the TV in there, AND they sold draught lager. Heaven.