I Don't Like Christmas...

I have a confession to make.  I have an opinion on something.  It's not a popular opinion.  It is mostly against the flow of most people's opinion on the subject.

I really don't like dinner parties.  I only EVER go to them for Sharon.

There, I said it.  I'm sorry if that offends, but it's how I feel.  Let me clear this up straight away , it's not that I don't like my friends or family or seeing them.  Or that I don't like their food. Far from it.  I LOVE my friends and family, and the time I spend with them is some of my favourite time spent.  They are also all good cooks. But why do I have to eat with them?  What's wrong with having your tea at home and then meeting for a couple of drinks in the pub?  Why do I have to go round to your house and eat there and then sit in your living room, watching your TV, or listening to your music, or making conversation, or whatever else people do to at these events?  It's not that I don't like your house or you, but I like my house more.  That's why I live there and not with you.  So we have two issues I have with dinner parties.

Firstly, eating at your house.

If I eat at my house or in a restaurant with Sharon and I am not that hungry and I leave some of it, then it's my choice and it's fine.  If I eat at your house and I don't really eat much you start asking what is wrong with me or, more worryingly, what is wrong with your food.  This puts pressure on me to eat everything put in front of me.  Me, pressure and eating do not go well together.  If you give me pressure and food, I don't really feel like eating the said food.  So, a dinner party at your house almost instantly means I am not hungry.  That is not a good start.  So I spend the meal making polite conversation and pushing my food around my plate (even if it is the best meal EVER) and try and make it look like I've eaten more that I actually have.  All the while I am nervously drinking the wine/beer you have graciously provided.  Result, I am pissed and my stomach feels poorly sick.  Or, quite often when I have eaten I like to just chill out and say or do nothing for a while afterwards and let my food digest.  Making conversation and effort isn't considered chilling out for me. So either way this is not a good night out for me as I then have to spend the rest of the evening (because you have to hang around for hours after eating and make yet more polite conversation.... why?) feeling pretty crappy stomach wise.

Secondly, being at your house.

You have a lovely house.  I like what you've done with the living room, etc. But it's your house.  Your house is just like my house only I'm not quite as comfortable.  Whereas my house, is my house.  I am comfortable there.  I could live there.  So I am somewhere that I am less comfortable than I am at home.  Basic maths shows you I will enjoy this less than being at home.  Again.  It's not your company.  I love being out and about with you and seeing you.  I just don't like being in other people's houses much.

What is wrong with everyone having tea at their own house and then meeting in the pub for a couple of pints?  If I'm leaving my house, why not go somewhere different from my house? We could go to a restaurant?  Actually, no.  I sometimes just like to go home after eating in a restaurant.  So, although it is preferable to a dinner party, I still may feel trapped there afterwards.  Unless it's just me and Sharon.  She has somehow broke through all my strange neuroses about this and my desire to be left alone for large amounts of the time and I LOVE eating out with her and generally being around her.  Whenever I say I would rather be home alone or eat alone or whatever alone. I mean, just me and her. I should marry that one.  So, for my comfort we could all eat at home and meet up for a drink, or me and Sharon could eat out and you meet us later. Maybe, if I'm in the mood.  Sometimes I may just like to go home. Sorted.  Errr, ok, probably not.

There are a couple of other people who have broken through my strangeness on this issue.  My Dad.  Every Saturday dinner I have bacon and eggs with him at his house and I enjoy it greatly.  Also my Mum and Nan.  Every Thursday I have tea at my Nan's with my Mum.  I also enjoy that.  I put this down to 2 reasons.  Firstly routine.  I have said it is about my comfort zone and there is nothing like a routine to give me a comfort zone.  Secondly, I can leave whenever I want.  Straight after eating if I want.  Not hanging around someone elses house making polite conversation all night.  I can go home.  Bliss.

So, you would think from all this that I would insist on dinner parties being at my house.  It's my food, usually cooked by me and I can eat what I want of it.  It's also my house and my comfort zone.  Nope.  I'm not a big fan of people coming round to my house either.  In general.  I have to make conversation and make an effort and find it difficult to relax.  If it's just me and Sharon and I'm not in the mood then I can sit not saying much all night and it's fine.  Can't do that with guests.  It's bad enough with planned ones, but the unplanned ones.... JESUS... GO AWAY!!!!  It can be my most favourite person in the world, but if they didn't tell me they were coming, then in that few seconds between them ringing the bell and me answering the door, my brain starts calculating if they can actually tell I am in or how much trouble I would get in for simply ignoring them because I am obviously in.  I am too nice and polite for either of those unfortunately and so answer the door and make polite conversation while hoping Sharon will do most of the entertaining and wondering how long is too long to take making them a cup of tea.  Is an hour too long?  Would it be wrong to finally show up with a brew for them as they are putting on their coat to leave.  I understand your dilema though.  If you ring and ask if you can come round, I will almost certainly say no, so you have to arrive unannouced.  My top tip would be to ring Sharon.  She gets her friends and family in the door all the time.  Anyone coming through me will struggle.

So yeah, the blog title.  That was just me trying to get your attention. I do, of course, LOVE Christmas.  I love giving and receiving presents.  I love seeing my friends and family.  I love the talking and the laughing and the eating and the drinking.  BUT, I have to go and eat meals at people's houses. And go and spend vast amounts of time at people's houses making polite conversation and pretending I find the Emmerdale Christmas special entertaining, when I really would just like to be on my couch, eating my food, drinking my beer, watching my Star Trek, on my TV.  Or the other thing that might happen is, because everyone is at home and bored for a week, they might decide to call round and see us unannouced.  NIGHTMARE!

I have issues.

Now, I realise  I may appear selfish here.  But we are all selfish in our own way.  I can't help feeling like this.  I just do.  It doesn't mean I don't enjoy your food or your company.  And because you are my friends and family and I love you and want to see you I will do all these things and will enjoy bits of it, sometimes all of it.  It's more about that I can sometimes, without warning, really not be in the mood. I may get into things later on.  I almost always don't want to go out anymore just before it's time to go out, but I push on through because I usually get into it.  That happens much much less with dinner parties or going to people's houses.  More importantly Sharon will enjoy all of it, all the time, and so I do it for her.  So please don't take offence and shun us because of me, because she loves coming to see you all and have you come to see us.  

I will be in the kicthen making you a brew.

Or, let's all eat at home and meet for a couple of pints in the pub afterwards.